


Something Stupid

by Ecc0craft



Series: Weird Science [2]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol, F/M, Food, Mad Scientists, Mercy is Sunshine Personified, Musical References, Party, Stress Relief, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-12
Updated: 2019-03-21
Packaged: 2019-08-22 13:12:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16598564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ecc0craft/pseuds/Ecc0craft
Summary: It’s a rough job being a Support Class Overwatch agent. It is also stressful being an Overwatch Scientist.Angela believes that the best medicine is some time off.





	1. Planning a Party

**Author's Note:**

> This is just something I came up with for fun.

“I think we should have a party.” Angela announces. The other doctors in the room all stop what they are doing and look at her. “It should just be us, the doctors and scientists. We could all use a night off.”

Dr. Klein, in the process of constructing a robotic leg, is the first to comment. “Us take a night off? Surely you are mad, Ziegler. Overwatch would fall.”

“Don’t be so dramatic.” Angela huffs. “The others can get along without us for a night...I’m thinking this Friday.”

“I’m working.” Moira says dryly.

“You are always working, That’s my point.” Angela argues. “WE are always working. We work and work and work and we are running ourselves ragged.” She makes a point in gesturing to the dark circles under Moira’s eyes and the two days worth of stubble on Klein’s chin.

Moira rubs her tired eyes and Klein strokes his chin thoughtfully. They both know that Angela is right and a night off does sound appealing but a party is not the first way they’d think to spend it. As introverts with a slight case of misanthropy, they prefer solitude over social activities for their free time. Angela looks like she has a plan though, so they decide to hear her out.

“What did you have in mind?” Klein asks, blue eyes critical under the round lenses of his glasses. “Drinks and card games?”

“I was thinking we have dinner too.” Angela adds. “Everyone can help with the party. We can have it as my house so I’ll provide the entertainment; I know how much you love to cook, Klein; Moira, you can bring the music; Verdant can bring the booze; and Winston can bring the dessert.”

“We’re inviting Winston?” Moira groans, skeptical.

Angela wrinkles her nose. “Of corse! Of all of us, he is the one who gets out the least.”

The Gorilla doesn’t have many options. He’s solitude is not by choice but It’s not like he can go out for a day on the town. There are not many who would accept him.

“Is Klein going to cook everything by himself then?” Moira moves on, trying to dismiss the idea of a get together. Surely her college is not thrilled at being assigned the biggest task.

“You are welcome to assist me, my dear.” Klein says, enjoying the scowl she throws his way for his use of the endearment. Unlike Moira, he is warming up to the idea of a social event but Moira, he knows will take more convincing.

“I could do the cooking.” Angela says, trying to defuse the tension between them. “I’m sorry if you thought I was overworking you, Klein.”

“I really don’t mind.” Klein insists. “Have you any requests?”

“Something light...Vegan if possible...” Angela says, thinking of Winston and his particular diet. Moira makes a huffing noise to show her disapproval. “But I guess it doesn’t have to be...”

“A salad would be a start, quite a large one for the ape. The main course...well perhaps I will ask the others.” Klein muses.

“Wunderbar!” Angela smiles happily. “You two don’t worry about anything else, just leave it to me!”

The first order of business for Angela is to make sure she can get Friday night off. Strike Commander Morrison is an understanding man. It won’t be much of a problem, she thinks.

“Friday night? What’s so special about this Friday night?” He asks, halfway paying attention to her and a lengthy report on his desk.

“Jack, I am putting my foot down as head of medical.” Angela says. “We have an epidemic of low moral among the support class agents and the science department. My expert treatment for this outbreak: A night off.”

Jack glances up at her, raising a blonde brow. “You’re up to something.”

“Me?!” Angela places a hand on her chest, fanning offense. “Up to something? The nerve of you, commander.”

“You always get that evil twinkle in your eyes when you’re up to something.” Jack deadpans, holding back a smirk.

Angela almost blushes but she catches herself. “Oh, I’m just performing an experiment with Moira and Klein. It involves the chemistry of two volatile substances.”

Jack actually laughs. “Usually the result is an explosion.” He sets down the report and puts his elbows on the desk, lacing his fingers together. “…Or a toxic gas.”

“Won’t know until I try it.” Angela smirks.

“First you dress like Cupid, now you’re playing Cupid.” Jack snorts. “And Verdant and Winston are involved, how?”

“Winston has become a recluse and, talking seriously, Verdant needs to take some RandR before he gives himself an ulcer.” Angela explains.

With a thoughtful sigh, Jack nods his head. “I have you covered for Winston but you’ll have to take it up with Reyes to ensure Verdant doesn’t get called away.”

“I’m sure I can manage.” Angela grins as she skips out of the office.

She finds Reyes at the practice sims. Blackwatch has just finished and most of the agents are covered in bright green paint splats. Poor Verdant has one right between his eyes and is viciously scrubbing his safety goggles.

“One of these days I’m gonna make you eat the damn rifle, Briggs.” The Blackwatch medic grumbles.

“Are you alright, Louie?” Angela asks as she brushes by the other agents.

Verdant looks up when he hears her voice and takes the opportunity to vent his frustrations. “Angela, do they ever leave you to die? Just dash off making you easy pickings for the goddamn sniper?”

“This has happened to everyone.” Angela replies mildly. She has been shot many a time during the practice sims. Hell, getting ones head taken off by either Briggs or McCree is practically a right of passage. “Did you still win?”

“No, everyone else was dead and Shimada wouldn’t get on the point.” Verdant grumbles.

“I needed healing! I was at 5 health.” Genji pipes up in defense of himself. Poor thing is pelted with paint from head to toe.

“Oh I heard you the first twenty times you said it.” Verdant huffs. “But you were on the other side of the map.”

“I was trying to dive Briggs before he could kill anyone!” Genji counters. 

“Aye, but I saw ye coming. Saw them glowin’ red eyes a mile away.” Briggs shouts from the bench. We has paint right across his mouth that runs down his chin. “Ye should get Klein to fix that disaster of a frame ye got. Ye’re gonna kill yerself tripin over all those loose wires.”

Genji proceeds to let out a flurry of Japanese curses that Angela is glad she can’t understand.

“It ain’t worth it partner.” McCree places a hand on the cyborg’s shoulder to hold him back. The cowboy has paint on his face too, over his right eye. As soon as he sees Angela he removes his hat and gives her a smile. “Doc.”

“Jesse.” Angela smiles back. Tanaka saunters up next to her and taps her arm. 

“Hey, have you seen Moira?” Tanaka asks with a frown. She has no paint on her that Angela can see so she must have been the one to cap the point. “She was supposed to be our team’s medic today but she never showed.”

“We had to go in a man down!” Briggs complains from his seat on the bench. “I don’t need that kind of stress in me life.”

He would not last one day with the stress of a combat medic, Angela thinks. “It appears that you made do without her.”

“We’re adaptable, Princess.” Tanaka huffs.

“Ye were the one complaining the whole time.”

“Didn’t say adapting was fun.” She says, sticking her nose up and turning her back to Angela. “Tell Moira that next time she plays hooky I’m setting her lab on fire.”

“You will not.” Reyes booms as he approaches from the observation room. He doesn’t seem angry, more concerned than anything. “Hey, Zeigler. Let me guess, Moira got distracted by work again? She’s going to work herself to death one of these days.”

“Ja, but have no fear, I have a solution.” Angela announces. “My plan will be put into action Friday night.”

“Good luck getting Momo to take a night off.” Reyes chuckles. 

“That is why I need Verdant’s help.”

“What?” Verdant raises an eyebrow.

“Oh?” The blackwatch commander cocks his head. “And what are the agents going to do in the training matches without their medics?”

Angela grins. “A couple of them can learn to flex. I’ve always wondered how Tanaka would look in my Valkyrie suit.”

Reyes’s eyes light up and Tanaka gets a look of panic. “Now Gabe—”

“I think it’s a great idea.” Reyes laughs. “You guys need to learn how to play multiple roles!”

“So can he be excused for Friday?” Angela asks hopefully.

“Sure.” Reyes says as he leans closer to her. “Just save me a piece of cake from the party.” He winks knowingly.

“Affirmative.” Angela salutes, pulling Verdant aside.


	2. The Bet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moira and Klein discuss dinner plans and the two commanders discuss a bet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finished writing a chapter for Sparrow, time to write some fluff to balance out the angst.

“Ohhh Hell!” Moira grumbles raising her eyes to the heavens. “Sebastian, I have come to the realization that I have forgotten something important. Trouble is I cannot remember what!”

Klein is not really in a position to be answering her question, currently broken into pieces for cleaning and decontamination. His cybernetic arms and spinal harness must be cleaned before they start malfunctioning. Klein himself is in desperate need of a sanitization bath. He sits in his stabilization pod and mulls over Moira’s usual duties.

“Combat Drills?” He echoes from inside the coffin like container.

“Damn!” Moira gasps. “I knew it. I just hope those spiteful brats don’t do something to make me pay for it later.”

“Like what? Throw the match?” Klein ventures. “They aren’t that petty.”

“You’d be wrong.” Moira huffs, leaning against the pod and holding her ear closer so she may hear him better. 

“What were you working on that got you so distracted?”

“Something for Reyes. To make his symptoms less severe.” Moira sighs. “You know, I could use your assistance in that.”

“Reyes was never one of my SEP patients, Moira. I doubt I’d be much help.” The timer on the pod goes off and the arms and harness are fed back inside. The sounds of limbs being reattached almost drowns out Klein’s reply. 

“I meant, I would like a sample.” Moira hums. “After all, the formulas are all locked into your...research.”

“You are welcome to some of the samples I’ve frozen. Perhaps you will find something where I did not.” Klein says. “Now if you’d please avert your eyes, I would like some privacy.”

Moira turns her back and the pod opens. Klein steps out and begins dressing while Moira steers the conversation into Angela’s plan for Friday. “Are you actually going to cook everything on Friday?”

“Yes.” Klein answers, slipping on his lab coat. “On that note, what do you want for the main course? You were less than enthused with Mercy’s suggestion.”

“I don’t know.” Moira shrugs. “Something Dutch.”

“Where I grew up?” Klein asks, cleaning off his glasses. “That means potatoes and probably fish. Our dear Dr. Ziegler will faint with the amount of carbs.”

Moira snorts. “Brilliant.”

“Indeed, quite amusing.” Klein agrees, adjusting his coat collar and walking back to his work station. “Friday will be an interesting event, I’m sure. I look forward to observing.”

“I’m glad you will be getting some amusement from all this nonsense.” Moira huffs. “Do you intend on stirring things up?”

“Ever poor soda pop on an ant farm?” Klein cackles. 

Moira leans towards him and narrows her eyes. “If you are suggesting that the party guests are the ants, I will not be eating anything you prepare.”

“Oh Moira, I’m only teasing.” Klein says innocently. “Besides, with Verdant bringing the alcohol, I doubt I will be cognitive enough to make much trouble.”

“Hallo, again!” Angela greets as she enters the lab. “Everyone is set. Also, Winston insists we bring Athena and Echo too.”

“Fine.” Moira sighs. “Do the Blackwatch agents want my head for missing drills?”

Angela smirks. “Don’t worry about them. They have other worries at the moment.”

“Oh?” Moira raises a brow.

“What did you do?” Klein adjusts his glasses.

“A few agents are going to need to learn how to play our roles for a while.” Angela giggles. “Reyes loved the idea.”

Yes, Gabe loves the idea of switching things up for his troops, but he thinks he can make things a little more interesting. All he needs is a little talk from his favorite boy scout. Jack is observing a training exercise and looks distracted enough. Gabe grins, sneaking up on the Strike Commander and gets ready to grab him and put him in a headlock.

"Don't even think about it, Gabe." Jack deadpans without turning around.

Gabe doesn't let on that he's been startled and instead lets out a sigh. "How'd you know it was me?"

Jack only glances over his shoulder, looking at him from the corner of his eye. "It's amazing that you think you can sneak around with those heavy footsteps of yours." Gabe looks down at his heavy combat boots and then back at Jack. The blonde takes a breath in and chuckles. "That, and I can smell that cologne you're wearing from across the base."

"Wow, Keep deducing me Sherlock." Gabe smirks as he moves to Jack's side and crosses his arms.

"Ana is getting back from Egypt today." If you plan on hiding in her office and jumping her, I'd tone it back.

Gabe smirks. “What if I'm not wearing it for Ana?”

“Don't know anyone else that would be interested.”

Gabe punches Jack’s shoulder and puts him in a neck lock anyway. He leans close to whisper in his ear. “Meeeaaaan!”

Jack smirks and pulls Gabe over with him and escapes the headlock turning the odds in his favor and pinning his friend on the ground.

Gabe lets out a grunt and looks up at him starry eyed. “Not bad for a desk jockey.”

“Thanks.” Jack grins, helping Gabe up.

Gabe leans against the wall and crosses his arms casually. “You know I've been thinking about you.”

“I've been told I have that effect on people.” 

Gabe chuckles. “More specifically your mother.”

Jack frowns. “What?”

“It's been forever since I've had some of her famous apple pie.” Gabe hums longingly. “You know, with the apples just a little sour and the crust all golden brown and flaky.”

“Yeah.” Jack sighs. “It's been years...”

With another hum, Gabe rubbs his hands together. “So... can you get one? Have Mom send you a care package?”

“Oh god,” Jack narrows his eyes. Gabe always rubs his palms together when he is planning something. “Why is everyone plotting something today?”

“You know that party the Medics are having on Friday?” Gabe’s grin widens.

“Yeah, but what does it have to do with--” Gabe cuts him off by holding a finger to his lips.

“I am cross training some of my guys to role support.”

“So?” Jack mumbles against Gabe’s finger.

“So, I want you to cross train a few of your guys and this Friday we can have an Overwatch vs Blackwatch Deathmatch with all the normal roles mixed up!” Gabe announces.

“Why?!”

“Because I'm bored and this is a bet!” Gabe laughs. “When my guys win, I get apple pie!”

Jack crosses his arms and frowns. Then tilts his head like he's thinking about it. Then he gets an evil smile. “You and I have to compete in the match too. We’ll play as secondary supports.”

“No.” Gabe’s smile vanishes. “I’m not wearing the Fairy suit.”

“Yes, or I win.”

“You’ll have to wear it too!” Gabe points out.

“And look better in it than you.” Jack smirks. “When my team wins, I want a bowl of Mrs. Reyes's secret chili recipe.”

Gabe grits his teeth and smiles through them. They lean close their noses almost touching. “You know what? You're on, Blondie!”

From the training range a few of the troops have been watching. Some of the younger agents are very confused. 

“It that how they flirt?” Tracer asks, taking a swig from her water bottle.

“Who?” Patterson asks, doing a pullup.

“Are those two a thing?” Tracer asks, pointing to Gabe and Jack.

Agent Rogers raises both red brows into his hairline. “I thought Reyes was with Amari...”

Captain Lacroix looks up to where everyone’s attention is and smirks. “Oh no, the commanders are up to something.”

“What kind of something?" Security agent Dion asks with dread. He pinches the bridge of his nose, remembering what shenanigans went down last time.

Lacroix lets out a hearty laugh and nudges Dion in the shoulder. “Put you helmets on les enfants. This is going to be a bumpy ride.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gerard- Hello. I am never in fanfics unless I die at the end.
> 
> He is like the Kenny McCormick of Overwatch.


	3. Just a little Misanthrope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Klein prepares dinner while Moira opens up about her dislike of people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what year is it?!
> 
> Happy New Year!
> 
> Songfic chapter ahead!

Friday

“Just. About...Perfect!” Angela exclaims as she finishes hanging a ribbon decorating the archway to her dining room.

“Is all that really necessary?” Klein asks as he stirs a bowl in his hand. “I understand having everything clean...but the ribbons and the candles...”

“I never do anything half way, you know that.” Angela laughs. “Besides, I think it looks rather romantic.”

“No need for that.” Klein snorts. “The whole world is already in love with Angela Ziegler. I was going to point out the fire hazard of all this.”

“The ribbons are nowhere near the candles.” Angela says, lighting the candles and pointing to the other decorations. They are indeed safely out of the way.

“No, but I’ve seen you drunk.” Klein says without cracking a smile. “I’m just looking out for you.”

Angela’s face turns red. “That was a long-time ago.”

“A very long time, and yet I still remember.” Klein shrugs. “It is permanently _burned_ into my memory, so to speak.”

“What happens at the Overwatch Anniversary Party, Stays at the Overwatch Anniversary Party.” Angela warns, jabbing a digit Klein’s way. “I’ve got to keep an eye on you, Sebastian, you know too much.”

A crash in the kitchen followed by a consistent rhythm of banging causes both doctors to flinch. Klein lets out an exasperated groan and returns to the kitchen. Angela follows him closely and has to cover her mouth to keep from snorting.

“David! No no no, Give me that!” Klein shouts irritably. A knee-high omnic is perched on a barstool and furiously trying to chop vegetables with a kitchen knife. He’s holding it backwards and doing more hammering than cutting. Klein takes the knife away and replaces it with a spoon. “When I said you could help, I didn’t mean you could use a knife. Last thing we need is you giving everyone an Omnic crisis scare.”

David makes a low buzzing sound looking at his reflection in the spoon. He turns back to the vegetables and resumes his hammering with the new utensil. Klein covers his face with one hand and sighs. At this point Angela loses it.

“Awww look, he’s helping.” Angela coos clasping her hands together.

“No, that is the opposite of what he is doing.” Klein grumbles. He picks up the small omnic and places him on the ground. David tilts his head to the side, the apertures in his yellow optics constricting. “Now don’t look at me like that, all you were doing was making a mess. Go into the living room and read your book.”

The little omnic lowers his head and drags his feet to go into the other room. Angela makes a pout and turns to Klein. “You hurt his feelings.”

“Don’t be absurd, he doesn’t have feelings.” Klein scoffs, cleaning up the vegetables and cutting them the proper way. “All he was doing was displaying one of the pre-programed gestures in his data base. He can only mimic human behavior, he does not understand it.”

“Well why would he pick that gesture unless his feelings were hurt?” Angela whines.

Klein looks back at her with his hands still performing the task of cutting. “I don’t have the time or the crayons it would take to explain the complexities of Omnic coding to you.”

Angela frowns. “I understand that AI is constantly evolving. With Omnics, well they learn at such an exponential rate, how do you know David hasn’t figured out emotions for himself?”

“Well that would be terrifying.” Klein says, dumping the greens into a large salad bowl. “If code evolves too quickly, that is how we get god programs, the last thing we need is another one of those. The fact that David can already swing a knife is cause for worry.”

“You won’t have to worry if you’re a good parent and teach him right from wrong.” Angela teases. “Just like any child.”

“Oh yes, I child that can wipe out half the net with a temper tantrum.” Klein mumbles back just as the doorbell rings.

“Oh! That must be Moira!” Angela skips over to the door and lets the other woman in. “Good evening Moira! You ready to party?!”

Moira doesn’t smile but she nods. “I am looking forward to not being around Reyes and the Blackwatch agents tonight. Everyone has lost their minds.”

“We may be very busy tomorrow morning.” Angela chuckles. “But let's not think of that tonight. May I take your coat?”

“Thank you.” Moira hands off her coat.

“You look nice.” Angela smiles, pleased that the other lady doctor has made an effort to look nice. A maroon dress top, a pair of black slacks, just the tiniest hint of makeup, and her short red hair parted differently, tosseled more than usual.

Moira gasps and looks down at David who has clamped his arms around her leg. “What are you doing here?”

“Klein brought him to help.” Angela smiles. She hangs up the coat and crouches down to the omnic’s level. “Where was my hug you little rascal?”

“I didn’t know Sebastian even programed him to do that.” Moira says, tapping David on the head so he will let her go.

Angela only smirks. “So, what music have you brought for us tonight?”

“I brought my tablet.” Moira sighs. “I didn’t know what kind of music so I brought everything.”

“That’s gut.” Angela says, making a deliberate motion of checking her watch. “Oh! I better go and pick up Winston. You and Klein behave while I’m away.”

“Behave?! What on earth do you mean by--” Angela is gone before Moira can finish. She looks to David for some sort of explanation but he only buzzes and plops himself on the sofa, going back to the Ornithology book.

Moira shrugs and raises an eyebrow at all the candles. When she makes her way into the kitchen, Klein is just checking the fish in the oven. When he turns around his eyes widen slightly as if he is surprised to see her.

“My, don’t you look lovely.” He complements before moving over to a pan and adding a pinch of salt.

“My thanks, Sebastian.” Moira feels a pleasant satisfaction but doesn’t return the complement. Klein hasn’t done anything different with his appearance apart from wearing a blue kitchen apron instead of his lab coat. Maybe it was foolish of her to dress up, especially since she had agreed to help with dinner. “What can I do to assist you.”

“I would not be opposed to you setting the table.” Klein murmurs, tasting the pea soup he is stirring. He furrows his brows and sighs. “But first, could you taste this and tell me if it needs more salt? I cannot tell.”

Moira strolls up beside him and gives the soup a taste. It’s thick with the distinct flavor of pork. “Delicious.”

“Yes, but does it need anything?”

“Not that I can tell but I am no cook.” Moira says. “I’m sure it will do for this evening.”

“Ideally this kind of soup is eaten the day after it is made.” Klein muses. “So, the flavors have time to mix.”

“And the potato's?” Moira asks, lifting the lid of the bubbling pot beside the soup. “They look about done.”

“Yes. Good thing too, the other guests will be arriving shortly.” Klein says casually. Moira groans, reminded of her commitment to socialize this evening. “Do not fret, my dear, we shall survive this together.”

Moira remains silent but it does not leave the air between them awkward. Not like it would with everyone else. Moira could never understand why regular people always felt the need to fill the silence. Normal people...“Do you ever think there is something wrong with us?”

“No. Why?” Klein asks, having gone to toss the salad bowl. “Or, is this about our shared misanthrope?”

“Just something I’ve had on my mind. Angela can get everyone to bend over backwards to make this happen and I’m miserable.” Moira replies, fidgeting with her hands. “The others can laugh and play and make fools of themselves...and I despise them for that...it doesn’t make sense.”

“It is completely reasonable to dislike people.” Klein says casually. “You and I are just more honest about it.”

“Yes, but I dislike people because I don’t understand them.” Moira huffs. “You, you have a degree in anthropology, you understand people and you choose to dislike them.”

“The data I have collected in my lifetime has helped me make that assessment.” Klein says, turning to face her and crossing is metal arms. He grips the left one more tightly, the only one with a stump still attached. There is a painful memory there that he doesn’t need to voice for Moira to understand. “However, I do not hate them all, or at least not you.”

“Maybe I am over thinking this, just like everything else.” Moira sighs. “Why can’t I just have fun like everyone else?”

“You know what I do?” Klein says, putting on his most convincing smile. To Moira it’s creepy and doesn’t suit him at all. “Pretend, act like I am having a good time, sometimes I even fool myself.”

The ghost of a smile touches Moira’s lips. “I am glad that you are here.” She means it, and not just about the party. She is glad that he is here with Overwach, here with her.

“Well I would hope you are grateful, I am the one cooking.” Klein deadpans. David chooses this moment to wander back into the kitchen holding Moira’s tablet and scrolling through the playlists inquisitively. “Now you be careful with that.”

“It’s alright.” Moira assures. “In fact, he makes things easier.”

“Does he now?”

“Yes, he can pick the music.” Moira drawls. “What shall we listen to, David? Techno beats? Mozart? Rock and roll?”

“Perhaps we listen to something from his namesake.” Klein suggests, as he takes the potatoes off the stove and starts straining the water. “Find ‘Starman’ or ‘Life on Mars.”

The omnic swipes a finger down the music list and selects a Sinatra Album. Choosing to ignore his creator’s suggestion. With another swipe a cheerful toon begins playing.

“I remember this one.” Moira hums, nostalgically. “I think it was playing in the restaurant we when two after that Crytech charity all those years ago.”

“You mean where we met?” Klein hums, as the lyrics start up.

 _I know I stand in line_  
_until you think you have the time_  
_to spend an evening with me_

“ _And if we go someplace to dance, I know that there's a chance you won't be leaving with me_.” Moira continued quietly to herself. “ _And afterwards we drop into a quiet little place and have a drink or two..._ ”

“ _And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like: ‘I love you_ " Klein joins in, briefly making eye contact with Moira before going back to preparing dinner. Moira feels a slight flutter in her stomach that she can’t explain so she reasons that it must be a symptom of hunger.

 _I can see it in your eyes_  
_you still despise the same old lines_  
_you heard the night before_

 _And though it's just a line to you_  
_for me it's true_  
_and never seemed so right before_

“ _I practice every day to find some clever lines to say to make the meaning come true._ ” Klein continues while he works. “ _But then I think I'll wait until the evening gets late and I'm alone with you. The time is right your perfume fills my head, the stars get red and oh, the night's so blue..._ ”

“ _And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like: ‘I love you._ " Moira finished the verse, feeling the flutter again. “I do hope dinner will be ready soon.”

“Everything is basically ready.” Klein says. “Now we just sit back and wait for the others.”

“Won’t have to wait too long.” Verdant’s voice says from behind them. The doctors spin around to see the combat medic with a crate of booze under one arm and a bottle of wine in the other.

David is startled by the surprise entrance and runs to hide behind Moira’s legs, peaking out like a cautious child.

“Enjoying singing your little love song?” Verdant chuckles setting crate on the counter.

Embarrassed that he had overheard them, Moira frowns. “How long were you there?”

Verdant only snorts. “Oh don’t mind me, Red. Far as anyone’s concerned—” He cracks open a bottle of beer and takes a swing. “I’m not going to remember anything from tonight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://youtu.be/08Av62bA_MM


	4. Wardrobe Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The two teams prepare for battle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The memes are strong with this one.

“This is bull, why do we gotta do this? Moira is the one that didn’t show up for drills.” McCree grumbles as he lifts Verdant’s heavy, healing station onto his back. “The Medical uniform makes me feel like a big fat target.”

“You always look like a big fat target, cowboy.” Tanaka comments snidely.

“Why do I have to be tank?” Genji asks, equally upset about the whole arrangement.

“Because...” Tanaka pauses to zip up the snug, Medic jumpsuit. “You can do that fancy ninja trick to deflect bullets.”

Genji slowly moves the heavy arms of the mechanical Exo suit he’s plugged into. “Not like this!”

“Don’t think Mercy had comfort in mind when she designed these. Little too tight in all the wrong places.” Briggs groans. He’s topless, the jumpsuit sleeves hang down to the ground. He makes the others snicker with his liberal use of a bottle of baby powder. 

“Havin’ fun over there?” McCree huffs.

“Ye laugh now but I can tell ye these things are gonna chafe.” Briggs explains, working the slevees onto his arms and zipping up. “I’m not dealin’ with a rash, no sir.”

“Rash? Hey! Then share the love!” Tanaka swipes at the bottle but Briggs holds it over his head and WAY out of her reach.

“No! Go find yer own!”

“Gimme!” Tanaka fusses, climbing up Briggs like a tree.

“Oi! Get off, ye little spider monkey!” Briggs protests, looking to the fellow agents for aid. “Guys?”

“Your Partner, Your Problem.” McCree smirks as Briggs flips him the bird.

“Just give it to her.” Genji rolls his red eyes, flustered.

McCree notices and nudges him. “Why ruin the show, eh...Partner?”

A blush hides beneath Genji’s mask at the display of Briggs with his arms stretched all the way out and Tanaka with her legs wrapped around his waist. He turns his head to glare at McCree but the gunslinger only tips his hat and shrugs.

“Blackwatch is already getting into the spirit, I see!” Lacroix exclaims, entering stage right with his girlfriend Amelie. 

They are followed by six other agents: Cadet Lena “Tracer” Oxton, Tank class Kyle Patterson, Cadet Paul “Romeo” Rogers, and security agents Aron Dion and Dexter Eulaers, with Commander Morrison in the back. Gerard wears heavy combat armor and a security shield on his wrist, filling a tank position. Tracer fills the second tank role in Patterson’s power armor. The only way everyone can tell that it’s her is the cheerful giggling coming from inside the large metal helmet. All the other agents are wearing class equipment different from their usual, including Morrison in the white and orange Valkarie suit with the wings gliding behind him.

McCree has to cover his mouth to stop himself from bursting out laughing. Briggs and Tanaka are not so gracious and cackle in unison, still pressed together. Genji simply stares in quiet amusement.

“What’s so funny?” Dion huffs, face red. He’s the least ridiculous looking one in the group, but he’s obviously uncomfortable outside his Security armor and fitted with Gerard’s ranged combat rifle instead of his shield and baton. “Haven’t any of you looked in a mirror?”

“Well yeah.” McCree snorts. “Didn’t expect Morrison to play dress up.”

“Gabe isn’t here yet.” Morrison says into an earpiece, completely ignoring the laughs. “Yes, I will send pictures, Promise.” 

“Ad Victoriam loves!” Tracer says as she clangs up and waves to Blackwatch.

“I love a lady in armor plating.” Tanaka purrs.

“How’d you fit in there?” McCree asks Tracer, tapping on her helmet. 

“She’s on blocks.” Patterson admits, adjusting his combat medic pack, the same one McCree is wearing. “We tied them to her feet.”

“Whatever gets the job done.” McCree chuckles.

“Hold on, you are only five counting Reyes…” Lacroix gasps. “You are down a teammate.”

“We’re used to it.” McCree shrugs. “sides, I think all this is just a joke for ol’ Gabe’s amusement.”

“Ridiculous! Mon Cher, What is the fun in beating you if you are outnumbered?” Lacroix says, playful but serious. “Commander, Let us send our extra to blackwatch.”

“Dex can switch teams.” Morrison looks up briefly at McCree and ushers Eulaers to the Blackwatch side. 

“Ugg! Do I have to?” Eulaers grumbles as he drags his feet to join the Blackwatch agents. He’s wearing a variant of the Medic Jumpsuit as well, only with jet boots instead of wings. “I wanted to fight these criminals.”

“Yeah, and people in hell want ice-water.” Morrison waves him off, going back to his call.

“This is why Chief left you for that Climatologist.” Eulaers mutters under his breath. Morrison still hears him and scowls, whispering something to Lacroix who gets the evilest smirk on his face.

“We’re gonna throw you to the wolves for that ‘criminal’ comment.” Tanaka snickers to Eulaers. “Smother you in gravy and feed you to my girlfriend.”

“You are ten pounds of crazy in a five-pound bag, Tanaka.” Eulaers hisses back. “I don’t know what Tracer sees in you.”

Tanaka’s face turns red. “You wanna see crazy?!”

“Oh no ye don’t.” Briggs catches Tanaka before she can lunge for the security officer’s face.

“Put a leash on your cat, Briggs.” Eulaers huffs with a smirk. Briggs snorts and Tanaka proceeds to fight more.

“Neko, Neko no. Shhh.” Briggs says, patting Tanaka on the head, still holding her. “Ye will have yer chance.”

“Shut up Olly!” She wines. “I am not your cat!”

“I’m more of a dog person anyway.” Briggs chuckles. “Oh, but ye are the cutest little tabby.”

“No, I’m not!” She crosses her arms pouting.

“Briggs, you big dumb animal. Put Tanaka down!” Gabe’s voice calls, accompanied by the sound of clicking heels. Everyone turns to look and a dozen jaws hit the floor. “How do I look?”

“It’s Pink!” McCree shouts in horror.

It is. Hot pink jumpsuit, pink tutu skirt, rose leggings but with huge black heeled boots, black gloves and large black wings. Reyes still wears his signature beanie but has pinned a tiny pink bow to the front.

“Time to play: Who wore it better.” Gabe says, doing a little turn, ruffling out the wings.

“You always gotta one up me.” Morrison snorts as he snaps a photo with his eyepiece. “But there is no way you threw that together in just a few days.”

“I’ve been saving this for a special occasion, blondie.” Reyes smirks. “It’s not too late to concede our bet.”

“Oh no. I won’t be conceding anything. Your side doesn’t have any damage dealers.” Morrison huffs says casually. The blackwatch agents look among themselves and realize he’s right. “The team is not balanced.”

“It’s a new strategy I’m trying. It’s called the five healers, one tank strategy.” Gabe insists, slapping Genji on the back. “You are gonna get so much healing.”

“I am suddenly disturbed by this…”Genji shutters.

“Hallo Everyone!” Angela greets cheerfully. Winston stands in the doorway and pushes up his glasses awkwardly. “You all look ready for action.”

“Remember that cake, Ziegler.” Gabe points. “You promised.”

“It’s on your desk when you are done here, sir.” Winston says, trying desperately to keep eye contact. Even the gorilla finds the whole situation weird.

“I just wanted to stop by and wish everyone luck.” Angela smiles, then puts on her doctor face. “Oh, and those of you wearing the Valkarie jumpsuits should probably use some baby powder or some sort of oil. They tend to rub.”

“Ha! Told ye!” Briggs says smugly.

“Hand over the powder.” Eulaers demands, slightly flustered.

“Yeah, give it!” Agrees Tanaka.

“Oh, brother.” McCree sighs. “Thanks for the advice, Angie.”

“Happy to help.” Angela says as her cell phone rings. She has to dig around in her purse for it but finds it before it goes to voicemail. “Oh, it’s Klein. *click* Guten abend!”

“Do not react to what I am about to tell you.”

“Oh no! Did something catch on fire?!” Angela gasps.

On the other end of the line, Klein and Moira watch Verdant crack open another beer and take a big gulp. The combat medic sighs contentedly, bouncing David on his knee and flipping through the book of colorful birds.

“No…Verdant is smiling…” Moira says in awe.

“Oh mein got! Send a picture!” Angela exclaims.

“I don’t have a camera…” Klein admits.

“Use the one on your phone.” Angela sighs. “Or use Moira’s.”

“I’m using my tablet to play music.” Moira shrugs. 

“I removed the camera on my phone.”

“You took the camera out of your phone? Why?!” Angela wines. 

“I also keep it in a lead case when it’s not in use.” Klein explains. “I don’t want it watching me while I’m working or talking to any of its friends…I especially don’t want it giving David any ideas.”

David tilts his head to the side at the mention of his name. Then, stares at Verdant, buzzing in confusion at being bounced.

“Why’d yoou make little Klein so cute?” Verdant slurs, patting David’s head.

“First, ‘little Klein’ is redundant.” Klein sighs, blocking the phone’s speaker with his hand. “Second, David isn’t meant to be ‘cute’. He has a non-threatening design to discourage Omnic discrimination.”

“Awww, you made him cute so people wouldn’t pick on him!” Verdant smiles again drunkenly. “That’s sweet.”

“Just use Verdant’s phone.” Angela instructs over the line. “Get it from him discreetly.”

“Louie, give me your phone.” Moira says bluntly.

“Okay.” Verdant hands over his cell.

“That’s not what I had in mind.” Angela huffs, pinching the bridge of her nose. Her phone buzzes with a message and it’s the photo from Verdant.

“Awww.” Winston exclaims from over her shoulder.

“We better get there before they start the party without us.” Angela giggles.

**Author's Note:**

> Verdant is based on concept Mercy even though he is shorter. He also acts like your typical Mercy main feels.


End file.
